bursts of orange

The unifying salt of it all I taste my name in yesterdays uttering Every kiss affirms it Deep and knowing Then its everywhere Every crease and fold Salting Pulsing Whirring Then its there Just there... And we are encased in it With a totality that does not ebb Until you've given of yourself Completely Saltily Eternally!

"What does love represent to you? How does yours differ from the imagery and literature around you?" Fear...  I need for her to... Whisper It Make it small enough for a shirt pocket or a purse Make it light enough to carry with me every where Make it so nonthreatening my heart doesn't know to be afraid... Anxiety... I've seen people get stuck Completely and for what feels like forever In what way can the past be such a burden? Now that I've met her Now that I've seen the face of happiness I know that if she dropped my hand I'd be indentured to my past For it would always be better than my present... Self-Awareness... She knows I don't have god in me, why does she request what's not in me? Is it in the way the thicket sometimes holds marvels instead of horrors Is it in the way we search for ship wrecks like tragic treasure I couldn't be that for her Until she showed me otherwise....  **Conversat ions on bar st ools in ...

I missed it, The moment you stole the key... Now we shiver from exposure. You with the duplicate in hand, A turn coat and his turn key. Me scampering to hide from this reading of my living, A recluse and her veil.

Look what your hands have done... They held the funnel and let you pour in and out of yourself when the restraint was overwhelming They padded your face while you fought against your worst, ripping at the betrayal in your skin They crawled out even as you dug the earth to lie gently beside your yesterday They pieced together your frame for a picture of what comes next And clenched tightly around your happy Look what your hands have done... They stopped time to let your loss spin you back to stillness.

What are you? My own wind vain pointing every which way even when the breeze is light and healing even in the cool of certainty your heat makes you thrash What is this fever heart sibling, that sometimes brings snow then sun Blue then green What are you... My own mood ring feeling acute changes in infinity even though you can't quantify it I speak in honeyed litanies to atone you but your own bursts daze your spirit What is this image heart sibling that takes hues to shades simple to complicated Won't you hold... Just a minute... An hour... A day... So I can see you.

Vagary do you find me ungrateful? We're hit by your betrayal then we drown for a little bit and forget forget to remember why our chests are clogged and leaking And repeat Love was cyclic between us I think love forgot Wiped from a landscape because the players are in spin But you stay my haste and say Breathe and wait for our repose Leave the titles on the slots and wait Settle your feet when they hurry to take you away, wait Love is not forgot We are not forgot I couldn't wait any longer Think me ungrateful but think of me as I of you Whenever I can clamp down and fell the forest of pain In the moments the wind carries you to me Sometimes the whelps ache for just you For the timbre in your brand of healing Bruce Springsteen sang "There were ghosts in the eyes of all the boys you sent away" But there are dusty shrines on the feet of all the girls that had to leave...

"Do they break your heart? Friends, lovers... Even the fleeting ones? Trample around and leave with something that's yours. Tell me how you walk free" Time is the.. Water in which I'll diffuse my feelings for them.. him Watch as what once made me fumble and fold rushes into pale echoes of want Wait for it to waft into reaches unknown until my heart turns clear again *The emotionally unavailable flower child* I've stopped letting them draw blood Now my mourning is selfish, without drama the cuts in me may never fade But I won't have to worry about new ones Because the face of my healing changed She gives back to herself more than the penance she demands *The affectionate emo* **Conversations over wine and tears**