bursts of orange

I lay here unable to get up Weakened by the ghosts oozing out of the walls i nto harsh focus I haven’t the strength to turn away To cover my eyes To shield my mind As the pantomime replays my wounds are salted Filling me with a pain that beats in me To the rhythm of my heart Image upon image, The colors an emotional kaleidoscope The palette based in pain Pain in my gut Pain in my body But most of all pain I’m my mind My mind that forces me to watch these ghosts These phantoms of my night-mare This re-enactment of the very source of the fire This gruesome fire that seeks to consume me I watch one ghost in particular because she looks so much like me But it can’t be I could never survive that Could never live to tell it Then I remember why it is I’m lying here… It was me and this is my script As the scene comes to an end And the ghosts retreat I realize my state The gaping holes that make up my heart The mess that is now my spiri...

*THUD* That’s the sound of my stomach dropping For even immersed in my sadness I see your name drift idly by as scarlet letters Scarlet letters washed from our shore *GULP* The sound of my swallowed pride As I run for a glimpse Ran ever faster to keep you with me Forgive me I wasn’t swift enough Or is it that you were… *SIGH* The unashamed breath of my yearning Can your sigh echo mine So I may know you yearn as well Or that you once did *SNIFF* I’m leaking broken goodbyes Hand me a nail love So I may fix them and make ME whole Better yet hand me that torch love So I may burn them away and make US whole * HUMPH * That’s my disdain for our humanity Couldn’t we rise above our mutual stations? Rise and capture our fairytale I promise I almost gleamed it once Our happily ever more *SMASH* I cast these gifts aground What use are flowered baubles If they didn’t lead to forever Once catching our light Now too bright...

I packed her up. Took her bag and filled it Full of her, Her fancy side-step and leaking eyes, Her broken back and knowing heart, Her puzzle pieced spirit and cracked heels. For her to glow sincere and find the depths in her Took apart her drawers… Made her kneel and give thanks. Made her cry out and rejoice. Took her naiveté by the roots and sawed away with all my might Sheared away her doubts and left her gasping Time for second glances is past I forced her down and made her repentant Arrogance is for the hiding and she must choose to seek I packed her up Instead I search for humility Head shaven Palms open I seek the god in me Left my fight on the floor And simply walked free As it was swept away To float in the breeze Curly shackles, shackling me no more.

A high pedestal, a favoured cause. Here lay wreathes of twisted lashes And warm brown irises Irises blinded to the gap in your hem The garnet offerings I held run across the floor Fiery amber curves and smalls, Dips and tips A pairing hides in the gap of that robe It sways about my face This draping of love Adorned in prayer beads and childish dreams To touch it! Press it against my chest And watch them heave in tandem Breathe for breath, Rise for rise I reach, Seeking escaped offerings Only for my finger tips to be trapped in that gap Pulling free I release you A fallen god with feet of clay

The brown sky fissured and salty warm misery fell. As fire light on hearthstones No deep streaks were made No stick figures in the sand No moisture fanning in the dryness A weeping of the spirit leaves no markings No trail to its cause A weeping of the spirit turns your heart inside out, with nary a skipped beat in its wake

For Sindiswa Weighed down by coloured crystals… Wing deep in blushing paint… Flutter, flutter, flutter Do you see her now? There. Gliding low with patterned brilliance… Trailing by with inky mirth… Flutter, flutter, flutter Do you see her now? There! Perched still in floral splendor… Cushioned softly in scented notes… Flutter, flutter, flutter Can you see her now? THERE!